the DW crackfic of doom returns

[fyere]

FIVE-MINUTE CROSSPOST TEST FIC OF ~GLORY~

STRIKES BACK

By Fyere.



Jack was on his laptop in bed when the little clock widget thing Daniel had installed on his desktop - why he couldn't just look at the clock that was already there, Jack didn't know, but the weather thing was sort of useful, he had to admit - ticked over to midnight.

He did the necessary clicking, cursed at the screen a few times when it seemed a little sluggish, crossed his fingers and screwed his eyes shut until he realized he should probably have them open otherwise he wouldn't be able to see anything, and, when everything went through, heaved a sigh of relief so great that Daniel murmured and rolled over. The side of his face that wasn't smooshed into the pillow scrunched up.

"Jack, why are you damning PayPal to the fiery bowels of hell? In Arabic?"

"Oh, no reason," Jack said airily.

"Are you buying random crap on eBay again? We have every size and color George Foreman grill already, we don't need any more."

"I'm not. Go back to sleep, Daniel."

Daniel never listened to him. "And if the seller says it's ancient, rare and one-of-a-kind, it probably isn't."

The ancient, rare and one-of-a-kind Sumerian vase Jack had bought him last time had had 'Made in Bangladesh' stamped on the bottom. They used it to hold their toothbrushes. Luckily Jack had only paid a dollar fifty plus shipping for it, and it went with the shower curtain. "I'm not buying random crap on eBay, Daniel."

"Okay, I believe you."

Daniel never believed him, either. But he went back to sleep, and Jack grinned to himself as he uploaded icons. Lots and lots and lots of icons.

* * *

"I bought you a present," Jack told Daniel the next day, and watched as Daniel struggled to suppress his look of excitement. He'd never wanted to look too excited about things ever since the day Mitchell had told him he looked like a happy bunny, and everyone within hearing distance had solemnly agreed. But - presents? Daniel loved presents. The excitement won.

"What kind of present?"

"I bought you a Dreamwidth seed account. It's all...permanent and stuff. You like permanent things, right? I mean, after the next ice age, some archeologist'll come along and stumble upon it - 'hey, it's Daniel Jackson's account. Behold the strange markings.'"

Daniel didn't look as ecstatic and profoundly sexually aroused by this as Jack had fondly imagined he would. "Really?"

"Uh...I thought you wanted one, Daniel. You were all jazzed about it. We were going to get them together, remember? I got myself one, too. Luckily."

"I was," Daniel agreed. "We were. But I...um..." He looked a little ashamed, and stuck his hands in his pockets. "How do I break this to you..."

"Daniel?"

"This is...I'm not sure how to..."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Jack ventured, hurt, and Daniel looked horrified.

"What the hell, Jack? I'm not breaking up with you. I, uh - I kind of alreadyhaveapermanentaccount."

Jack blinked. Daniel talked very fast. "Excuse me?"

Daniel shrugged helplessly. "I already have one."

"You haven't been on the computer since nine last night."

"I've had one...for three weeks."

"How the hell have you had one for three weeks?" Jack demanded. "They only went on sale at midnight!"

Daniel went red. "I can't help it if people like me, okay?"

Jack poked him accusingly in the chest. It was clear now. Daniel and his...Daniel-ness. "You have an in with the owners."

"Maybe a little bit."

"Are you using your powers? Have you had powers all along?" Jack grabbed Daniel's head. "Merlin! Get the hell out of there!"

"Ow! Jack! I don't have powers."

"You have powers," Jack retorted. Daniel looked a little guilty. "Did you at least get me one?"

* * *

"You have powers," Jack said happily, kissing Daniel under the ear. "Should I go with the blue layout or the green one?"

"I like the blue one."

"You would, Mr. Blue Plaid Explosion."

"Hey, my layout is red, you know."

"All your icons are blue."

"You made all my icons."

"Because I know you like everything blue."

"So you're basically enabling me and then complaining about it."

"...Basically, yeah. Sidebar or no? Looks a little cluttered."

"Come on, you have to have a sidebar..."

* * *

They gave Sam and Teal'c the other accounts, and they were very happy as well. And Sam used her computer skillz and made them all layouts with sidebars.

~THE END~